The greatest pick up line: 1 Timothy 2:11
With the Bible in hand I say to all women: “In full submission shut up, go to the kitchen and make me a sandwich. And you better bring me that beer!!” Nah, just kidding. Unlike the apostle Paul who seems to have hated his mommy, I like you ladies. Equal rights for everybody. Want a sandwich? I’ll make you one.
All right, I know that this passage applies mostly to the role of women in the Church, although that position is disputed (“The Bible? disputed? Nahhhh, it’s the perfect inspired word of God! Those “other Christians” are wrong, I’m right, yay!” -I imagine a young woman saying this at a Church on a Sunday). Turns out that there are women who write books that influence the Church in general and there are women in leadership positions and women counselors and women missionaries who preach to the “lost” and the list goes on and on. Hell, there are even famous televangelist females like Juanita Bynum or Paula White all over the place.
Pictured: Paula having an affair with Benny. I’m sure she got all horny after he read this passage to her.
As it regularly happens, I don’t see many Christians following this rule (there are a few exceptions) but we know that the Bible cherry-pickers don’t even guard the ten commandments very well either. Like something about a Sabbath… That’s not fair play, that’s dishonest. If you’re going to pick what you like and ignore what you don’t like then you are making up your own morals by your own standards, not by biblical standards. Might as well just throw the book away or give it to someone who will take it seriously. On second thoughts… No, don’t give it to someone who will take it seriously since that only means trouble. Toss it.