Category Archives: Biblical Myths

Marriage according to the Bible

Isaac Asimov on The Bible

Don´t question my book.

The greatest pick up line: 1 Timothy 2:11

With the Bible in hand I say to all women: “In full submission shut up, go to the kitchen and make me a sandwich. And you better bring me that beer!!” Nah, just kidding. Unlike the apostle Paul who seems to have hated his mommy, I like you ladies. Equal rights for everybody. Want a sandwich? I’ll make you one.

All right, I know that this passage applies mostly to the role of women in the Church, although that position is disputed (“The Bible? disputed? Nahhhh, it’s the perfect inspired word of God! Those “other Christians” are wrong, I’m right, yay!” -I imagine a young woman saying this at a Church on a Sunday). Turns out that there are women who write books that influence the Church in general and there are women in leadership positions and women counselors and women missionaries who preach to the “lost” and the list goes on and on. Hell, there are even famous televangelist females like Juanita Bynum or Paula White all over the place.

Pictured: Paula having an affair with Benny. I’m sure she got all horny after he read this passage to her.

As it regularly happens, I don’t see many Christians following this rule (there are a few exceptions) but we know that the Bible cherry-pickers don’t even guard the ten commandments very well either. Like something about a Sabbath… That’s not fair play, that’s dishonest. If you’re going to pick what you like and ignore what you don’t like then you are making up your own morals by your own standards, not by biblical standards. Might as well just throw the book away or give it to someone who will take it seriously. On second thoughts… No, don’t give it to someone who will take it seriously since that only means trouble. Toss it.

About a Jesus…

This is a cool video asking common sense questions about Jesus. Check it out 🙂

Bill Wiese, author of “23 Minutes in Hell”, describes Hell.

Have you read this book?

If you haven’t then don’t worry. It’s pretty much summed up in this presentation on one of Bill´s tours to promote his book:

I remember having seen some of this when I was a believer and I remeber being really frightened by this stuff. I would find myself begging for some ¨Jesus forgiveness¨ after viewing some videos on YouTube that would refer me to this man who would explain what hell is like, how you absolutely don’t want to go there, the tortures that await the unbelievers and how “ungodly” this place is. Begging for forgiveness and why is something that remains unclear to me since I would ask for forgiveness for my “sins” even when I was not ¨sinning¨ but had I already asked before. This would make me wonder: why isn´t asking for forgiveness only once not enough in the first place?

Anyway, back to the point.

I just saw this again after a few years of having watched his videos for the first time and noticed how absurd all of this is. I can clearly see how the believing mind may be affected by these stories and even convinced. I was not convinced this time. Quite the contrary: I found it absurd and even funny. I pictured kids telling each other campfire ghost stories and getting all frightened up by the boogie man. I came to the conclusion (it wasn’t hard) that this man is probably a lying manipulative actor who is interested in selling his book to make a profit. Notice the audio and video for psychological effect.

Now notice that I used the word “probably”. Why? Maybe he did have a bad dream, I don’t know. We know that after many years of telling his story he was convinced of writing his book. Maybe he decided to add a little extra salt or maybe he is remembering things that never happened. That I don’t know. In my personal experience, when I was a kid I saw a ghost. I was convinced I saw a ghost floating at my doorstep one night while I was in bed. Did that really happen? We’ll, I grew up telling that story and I would add things like “the ghost had no legs but she has a white nightgown, a white face and she has white hair” and doing some research I found that this fits the description of a banshee, so it went from ghost to banshee. Did I really see all those details in my frightened little mind or did I make them up as time went on? Was my ghost just a bad dream? Did it happen at all or did I make it up to impress my friends and on the long term I convinced myself of her “reality”? If I wrote a book about it right now I could add many details and back my story up with Irish Mythology. I think that is exactly what Bill Wiese is doing here. Either he is a liar or he himself is deceived by his own story. He states that he could feel hell just as if he we’re talking to you or me. It was that real according to him. We’ll, I’ve had my “real” experiences too so I can relate: one of them is Sleep Paralysis where I could not move a single muscle while laying in bed and I felt hands pushing me down. Demons and witches? No. Science. I’ve had my share of OBE’s too. Also explained by Science.

So that’s my way of not having to call him a complete liar. I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt.

These are the key points I got from his presentation:

  • You literally cannot go on living after experiencing Hell

Uhmmm Bill… you’re alive and well. You don’t even seem to have major psychological issues after experiencing Hell. I would imagine a person would go at least crazy insane if this ever happened to him or her. If this happened to me and I we’re to be sober somehow after this experience, I would be begging people to listen to me, to believe me. I wouldn’t say things like “don’t take my word for it, I just want you to know the Bible”. I would be begging at least my family and loved ones to listen to me.

  • It is so hot you should be burning, getting absolutely consumed

Quite a sober mind for a situation like this. If I we’re burning up in an oven I’m not so sure I’d think “wow it’s hot, why doesn’t my flesh peel off?”. I’d imagine myself jumping all over the place, trying to get the Hell out of there.

  • He could barely move because movement comes from god

Yet he was able to look up and see demons. Demons that had no trouble moving and smashing his ass against a wall. The people in the fire could move too. Snakes and maggots could move as well. Do demons, fire people, snakes and maggots have god?

  • There is no life in hell

What do people, snakes and maggots have in common? If they can move they are alive. Bill explains he had trouble breathing. You need to breathe air to keep yourself alive. Also if you feel pain you are alive.

  • Sickness comes from the realm of darkness

Take that Science! It’s not bacteria or bad cells or viruses, it’s demons! Bill 1 = Science 0. Whacha got for me evolution? Huh? Explain that!

What if I’m wrong? I’m still more moral than your religion.

Sometimes this would appear to be the message that Christians and Muslims like to spread:

When all other alternatives do not work, most of the religious types end up using the famous Pascal’s Wager “what if…?” which is a completely dishonest thing to do. My answer tends to be “How dare you threaten me with your mythology?” since the “what if” question implies that I’m going to hell if I don’t believe in whatever version of god the person I’m speaking to happens to believe in. Usually the persons who try to reconvert me are Christians since I live in a Christian nation, and having being raised a Christian, I still have many church friends. I like to point out “what if Muslims are right?” since the Muslim hell is far worse than the Christian hell. “If you want to really be safe from a horrible eternity, then the Muslim religion is the one you want to be a part of”. Right after this, the Christians I’m trying to reason with will usually start behaving like kids, pointing out that “they know” that their god is the correct one and lalala.

My point is that religion will make good, smart, honest people behave like asses for no good reason. They fight each other all the time, even when they believe in the exact same stuff. Look at the Christians: they all say that they have the Holy Spirit but they can’t agree on anything. It’s actually kind of funny in a sense and it sounds like their personal Jesus likes to tell everyone something different. You have all these 200,000+ religions that follow the same god, the same Christ and the same book and they fight each other all the time over dumb stuff like using wine or juice when performing the cannibalistic ritual or if women should use pants or skirts or if priests should marry or not or if they should use instruments on the Sunday service or not and the list of incredibly annoying stuff goes on. It’s really stupid, but what if…?

No thanks. If there is a god then it gave me a head that knows reason and I’m using it. If it knows everything then it also knows that any reasonable person who likes to question existence would find the stories in the holy books completely absurd. If it’s all loving and knowing then it would not punish people for questioning this universe and how it works or for being curious. I certainly would not punish a person for asking questions, specially if I’m playing hide and seek. If this god actually does punish people for not believing in crazy stories while hiding instead of explaining, then I, a mere human being, am far more moral than this deity.

Joseph’s epiphany

A very good question:

Titanic vs Noah’s ark

“Jesus Camp” Becky Fischer teaches kids in Singapore how to raise the dead

This is the infamous Jesus Camp lady, remember her?

I personally found the following video really hard to watch and had a difficult time going through the whole thing. When I finished I found myself baring an expression of pure disgust. This crazy lady, which you may know from the “Jesus Camp” series, is a child abuser and manipulator, an evil disgusting disturbing shitty pseudo human with no sense of morality. A brain-washer twisting the most vulnerable of all: children. Watch for yourself:

I won’t take it all on her although she is the visible face of all this. This is something that is not put together by her alone. I won’t get into how they put these “camps” together but I can judge from this video that she clearly has staff working with or for her and that those kids are put in there by their parents and that she has a structure which provides financial aid for all of this to happen. In Singapore.

In this clip she has two children play dead (a female and then a male) while the “audience” “resurrects” them in the name of Jesus. This lady and her staff are so messed up that they teach resurrection to kids that probably still believe in Santa Claus and the tooth faerie as real facts. I wonder how many times she actually resurrected something really dead in real life. My guess is none and she is a deceiving liar by teaching this to kids.

What are your thoughts on abusing children and neglecting them real knowledge by teaching them lies through the use of morbid games?